Spring cleaning.

"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you are ready. I have this feeling that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now." 

- Hugh Laurie

Waking up feeling tired is something from the long list of things that happen daily. Especially during winter. And especially if you were working long hours at work, barely seen sunshine, had no motivation to do anything apart from eating and taking naps and the weather outside is far from delightful.

I woke up like that on this Tuesday morning. Energy-less, with a cold and a lot of thoughts on my mind about how I should probably change jobs, how I should have been a better person, care more, think more, do more. After finally getting myself out of bed and getting my first morning coffee I kept on thinking about why am I having thoughts like that when I am clearly content - I have a home, a job, a partner and a future in front of me. And so what if I am turning 25 this year, I am a good person (at least I think I am) and I try to do my best to make everyone around me happy. Why the miserable thoughts you might ask? I blame winter.

Us girls we tend to over think things you know. Especially the ones like me who are constantly scared of what might come. But if you think about it a bit more, you will realise that there is nothing wrong with today. Absolutely nothing.

I woke up tired, yes, but the sun was shining through my window filling the room with this Spring-like feeling. Flowers outside the window started blooming and you can see bright colours all around you more and more with each day. My home was a mess due to both of us working almost every single day all day long, dishes not done, laundry bin grew into a mountain of shirts and it looked lifeless, almost as tired as I am. But I could't see that because I was too busy being tired and over thinking.

Stepped outside and sat on the steps to enjoy my cigarette and something suddenly clicked. I saw the flowers blooming, the people rushing to work, joggers trying hard to look better for Summer, and I had an absolutely different thought running through my mind. "There is nothing wrong." There just isn't. It is me being over-dramatic with my life that made me feel the way I did. I just need a bit of Spring Cleaning in my mind to throw away all the mess that gets me down, wipe off the dust from the positive thoughts, from Summer days, from everything that makes me smile. And I know it is only February, but I have started my spring cleaning today.

First things first - clear mind was my number one priority. Filled up the bath with steaming hot water, got my Christmas present - Lush bath bomb in the scent of "Sex Bomb" - got in and zoned out for the next 20 minutes. No phone, no books, just peace and quiet. The water turned luminous pink and purple, the sweet scent was filling the whole bathroom. Step one done. After that a full ritual of body creams, face masks, hair products and perfume. You'd be surprised how quickly that worked with making my mood from "couldn't care less" to "bring it on I am ready for a new day".

Everything else went smooth like clockwork - the laundry pile disappeared in the wash, the bathroom was scrubbed from the winter mould from the ceiling (yuck), rooms were tidied up and everything is back to perfect. Clean house - clean mind. And the thought of my man coming home from work to a clean home and a loving and smiling woman makes me happy. And all those thoughts? Well, they may be buried somewhere in my mind until next time my positive vibe battery runs out, but now I know how to battle the blues.

I learned something today. I learned that the home you live in reflects your inner state, and every "chore" you leave for tomorrow creates clutter not only in your house, but also in your mind. And I learned that we don't need to be upset about who we are and what we do. Just be the best at what you do or at lest try as hard as you can. Otherwise what is the point of it? If you can't be happy about who you are -  make a change, take the risk and change your job, move houses, move countries for God's sake, just do something to make you feel content. As long as you are willing to try and enjoy what you do, it will all be OK.

Life is funny like that, you get good days and bad days. And when bad days leave you feeling down, you need to look around and find something that will inspire you to keep going. Whatever it might be - a text from the love of your life, a new puppy in the family, promotion at work or, as simple as mine, sunshine and flowers right outside your window and making the man I love smile.

Try it out, I'm sure you will feel the difference. I know I do.Three hours until he will be back home from work and I am ready to meet him with a smile. And remember, Spring is just around the corner.