One Step Forward.
Moving forward with your life is something that a lot of people I know struggle with. They might not see it as a struggle but when I say something amongst the lines of - I don't think you should worry about it - or - It doesn't really matter now does it - people get a bit defensive without a reason. Something happened or went not according to your wildest dreams, so what, get over it and
concentrate on now. Yes, sometimes it is easier said than done and some "unwanted events" still haunt me on my late evenings when I sit comfortably with a cup of tea in my hand and here it comes: my brain randomly decides to re-play some embarrassing moment from 10 years ago when you said something you should have not said, oh why did I say that; And you get this horrible feeling re-playing as if it just happened. This is the time you need to learn to let go. Let go whatever happened before. 20,10,5 years ago, even last week if must, but try to learn how to not get yourself upset over the events that happened before, there is no use for those feelings.
Although I am not a "feelings genius" and I fall into these traps of mind myself, I do know what to do to make them go away as quick as they appear. So lets start with the most annoying one in my books:
The shame of past failures. Everyone has a past, I mean I can't say I know anyone who could say - I have never done something that I would want to do differently if I had another chance.Life is a learning curve and where some go through with minimum damage, most of us will keep falling and tripping over obstacles before we get on the path we want to be. Your past does not write your future, if you work hard for it that is. What matters is what you do right now to make your failures be lessons and not just a fall on an endless list of falls.
Making excuses. We tend to procrastinate on the goals and aims that are really important to us, and yet again I feel like I can talk about this because I fall into this category myself and then hate myself for it. We have two choices in life: One is to accept the life and conditions around us as it is ( the so called "comfort zone", or accept the fact that you need to work hard to try and change something for the best. Now, where most of us will settle for the first one, I would ask you to try and push yourself out of the comfort zone. Making excuses is ridiculous, but I tend to make them for even myself - Oh it has been such a long day at work, I'll do the laundry tomorrow morning. - Here comes morning and guess what? - Oh well I need to run to work so early I will do it after work because I am very limited on time. - and the circle continues until you have all your clothes "on hold" with wash and you have to go to work in your comfy clothes. But why am I doing this? because really it doesn't take much for me to load the mashing machine and sit down with a book whilst it is doing its thing. I taught myself that there is no reason for this delay. Same goes for my personal plans and plans for the future, I used to postpone it thinking I can start it a bit later but last week it clicked - I AM 26. Last time I was thinking to write that book I was 22. What happened there? Where did 4 years go? I can't postpone it even longer, not anymore. "Best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. Second best time is NOW." Every day is a new chance to choose to do something with your life, so why wait until a new year, new month or Monday. Just crack on with it and good things will happen. It just takes time.
The need to be right. Of course we all need to aim for success, but it is OK to accept the fact that something is not working the way you planned it. And "this too shall pass". No need to overreact to the fact that you might have made the wrong decision or your goal is taking longer than you planned for it to happen. It is fine. What we see often depends entirely on what we are looking for - Look out for success, even at the lowest points. So if you are wrong at something, accept it and think of it as a chance to learn new things and move forward with your life. Stop running from the problems if they occur and give it all you got to keep on moving forward with whatever crazy plan you have in your head.
And last but definitely not least - Letting opinions of others control your life decisions. THIS. This has been my "breaks" for the whole teenage and early 20's life. This scared me more than anything because I did not want people judging me thinking - Oh god what is SHE doing, why does she think it is going to work out for her. - and all that crap that your young and inexperienced in failures mind plays at you every time a new idea comes to mind. So many times I stopped myself from putting myself out there because I was afraid of what people would say, what my parents would say and what people I WILL NEVER EVER SEE AGAIN IN MY LIFE would say. See where I am getting with this? What's the population count currently, about 7 BILLION ? And trust me, not everyone will like what you do and not everyone will think that your book, creation, art is the next best thing since sliced bread BUT!!!! there will be people who will genuinely like what you do, who will feel inspired from the words you say. And whilst you will hear some people saying something like - Why on Earth would you want to do that? - you will also hear - What you are doing is amazing! - So don't you ever think that if people close to you don't see the potential it means that none of the 7 billion people in the world won't see it either. I saw people grow from no-one to business owners starting their paths from taking amateur photos of their classmates in school and ending up having their own photo business whilst the people around them were chanting - Pff, he is not even good at photography. - I saw people who took on dancing and were scared to perform at school, just to avoid mean comments to open their own dance studios. And there are multiple more examples of these inspiring people around us, but do you know what they all have in common? ... They did not listen to the negativity around them and just kept doing what inspires them, took control and had a few falls but they kept on going without excuses,without "someone said they don't like it", without I am not sure if I have time for this. They just kept going.
I really hope that this post will inspire some of you to see that you can control your own life. Every day we make decisions and there is no one to blame if you are not where you want to be just yet, but yourself. Move forward and never stop believing in your abilities.
Although I am not a "feelings genius" and I fall into these traps of mind myself, I do know what to do to make them go away as quick as they appear. So lets start with the most annoying one in my books:
The shame of past failures. Everyone has a past, I mean I can't say I know anyone who could say - I have never done something that I would want to do differently if I had another chance.Life is a learning curve and where some go through with minimum damage, most of us will keep falling and tripping over obstacles before we get on the path we want to be. Your past does not write your future, if you work hard for it that is. What matters is what you do right now to make your failures be lessons and not just a fall on an endless list of falls.
Making excuses. We tend to procrastinate on the goals and aims that are really important to us, and yet again I feel like I can talk about this because I fall into this category myself and then hate myself for it. We have two choices in life: One is to accept the life and conditions around us as it is ( the so called "comfort zone", or accept the fact that you need to work hard to try and change something for the best. Now, where most of us will settle for the first one, I would ask you to try and push yourself out of the comfort zone. Making excuses is ridiculous, but I tend to make them for even myself - Oh it has been such a long day at work, I'll do the laundry tomorrow morning. - Here comes morning and guess what? - Oh well I need to run to work so early I will do it after work because I am very limited on time. - and the circle continues until you have all your clothes "on hold" with wash and you have to go to work in your comfy clothes. But why am I doing this? because really it doesn't take much for me to load the mashing machine and sit down with a book whilst it is doing its thing. I taught myself that there is no reason for this delay. Same goes for my personal plans and plans for the future, I used to postpone it thinking I can start it a bit later but last week it clicked - I AM 26. Last time I was thinking to write that book I was 22. What happened there? Where did 4 years go? I can't postpone it even longer, not anymore. "Best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. Second best time is NOW." Every day is a new chance to choose to do something with your life, so why wait until a new year, new month or Monday. Just crack on with it and good things will happen. It just takes time.
The need to be right. Of course we all need to aim for success, but it is OK to accept the fact that something is not working the way you planned it. And "this too shall pass". No need to overreact to the fact that you might have made the wrong decision or your goal is taking longer than you planned for it to happen. It is fine. What we see often depends entirely on what we are looking for - Look out for success, even at the lowest points. So if you are wrong at something, accept it and think of it as a chance to learn new things and move forward with your life. Stop running from the problems if they occur and give it all you got to keep on moving forward with whatever crazy plan you have in your head.
And last but definitely not least - Letting opinions of others control your life decisions. THIS. This has been my "breaks" for the whole teenage and early 20's life. This scared me more than anything because I did not want people judging me thinking - Oh god what is SHE doing, why does she think it is going to work out for her. - and all that crap that your young and inexperienced in failures mind plays at you every time a new idea comes to mind. So many times I stopped myself from putting myself out there because I was afraid of what people would say, what my parents would say and what people I WILL NEVER EVER SEE AGAIN IN MY LIFE would say. See where I am getting with this? What's the population count currently, about 7 BILLION ? And trust me, not everyone will like what you do and not everyone will think that your book, creation, art is the next best thing since sliced bread BUT!!!! there will be people who will genuinely like what you do, who will feel inspired from the words you say. And whilst you will hear some people saying something like - Why on Earth would you want to do that? - you will also hear - What you are doing is amazing! - So don't you ever think that if people close to you don't see the potential it means that none of the 7 billion people in the world won't see it either. I saw people grow from no-one to business owners starting their paths from taking amateur photos of their classmates in school and ending up having their own photo business whilst the people around them were chanting - Pff, he is not even good at photography. - I saw people who took on dancing and were scared to perform at school, just to avoid mean comments to open their own dance studios. And there are multiple more examples of these inspiring people around us, but do you know what they all have in common? ... They did not listen to the negativity around them and just kept doing what inspires them, took control and had a few falls but they kept on going without excuses,without "someone said they don't like it", without I am not sure if I have time for this. They just kept going.I really hope that this post will inspire some of you to see that you can control your own life. Every day we make decisions and there is no one to blame if you are not where you want to be just yet, but yourself. Move forward and never stop believing in your abilities.
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