Professional Overthinker.
This year has been full of emotions. Good or bad, happy or sad, it had all of it together gathered under one number - 2017. And when you think of it, a year is not a long wait at all, months pass by with ridiculous speed. I think I blinked and missed the whole November this year - absolutely can't remember a day from that month.
See, I refuse to plan my life way in advance because how can you know that in a few months time you will still want/need to do the thing you planned for yourself last year? No chance you can guarantee that. But I am not getting younger, not saying that I am old but in a few years time I will look back to think about what have I actually accomplished and I am scared to be disappointed in myself since life is a funny thing that goes straight ahead without a pause button. You can't know if the step you are taking is the right one for you. You can't predict if you are a scratchcard away from being a billionaire. You cannot predict that quitting your job can open so many new horizons. It might be good or might be bad, you just have to go with it and see what the day brings.
I really wish I could turn around and say to you - Next year I will be doing this and that. I will go to yoga classes every Monday and I will be writing to complete my projects every other day and I will finally start sewing and create masterpieces that are in my idea box stored away in my head, but I wont. Because I am a woman of my word and if I say I will, then it will happen or I will feel like I have failed myself, and I do not like the feeling of that.
Professional Overthinker. Pleased to meet you. Probably the better definition of overthinking disorder would be excessive thoughts about something that causes anxiety, stress, fear, dread, and all the other lovely feelings that tear us, people apart. I am proud to say I have concurred most of my anxieties over the years. I have been pushing myself over the comfort zone and limits of my worries and I am feeling like I can do so much more now, but not everything. You would think with experience of overstepping the worried and anxiety it should be a walk in the park for me by now but when you beat one, another appears out of nowhere.
I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I am still battling this one. I am still in battle with my "New Years Resolution" anxiety since everyone and their mothers are coming up with a list for the new year and have all their lives planned out (even if it lasts only until the end of January) I can't even push myself towards a pen and a notebook to create a "to do" list. I just cant. It makes me feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff and I am scared to move. Dramatic, maybe, and I hate it but I still have not found a way to defeat it.
Either way, if and when I get over this panic mode over new year resolution lists I will tell you the easiest way to beat it but for now I am still only planning my life a few weeks in advance without any "new year resolution" lists.
See, I refuse to plan my life way in advance because how can you know that in a few months time you will still want/need to do the thing you planned for yourself last year? No chance you can guarantee that. But I am not getting younger, not saying that I am old but in a few years time I will look back to think about what have I actually accomplished and I am scared to be disappointed in myself since life is a funny thing that goes straight ahead without a pause button. You can't know if the step you are taking is the right one for you. You can't predict if you are a scratchcard away from being a billionaire. You cannot predict that quitting your job can open so many new horizons. It might be good or might be bad, you just have to go with it and see what the day brings.
I really wish I could turn around and say to you - Next year I will be doing this and that. I will go to yoga classes every Monday and I will be writing to complete my projects every other day and I will finally start sewing and create masterpieces that are in my idea box stored away in my head, but I wont. Because I am a woman of my word and if I say I will, then it will happen or I will feel like I have failed myself, and I do not like the feeling of that.
I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I am still battling this one. I am still in battle with my "New Years Resolution" anxiety since everyone and their mothers are coming up with a list for the new year and have all their lives planned out (even if it lasts only until the end of January) I can't even push myself towards a pen and a notebook to create a "to do" list. I just cant. It makes me feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff and I am scared to move. Dramatic, maybe, and I hate it but I still have not found a way to defeat it.
Either way, if and when I get over this panic mode over new year resolution lists I will tell you the easiest way to beat it but for now I am still only planning my life a few weeks in advance without any "new year resolution" lists.
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