Collect Moments, Not Things.

Memories are forever. No matter good or bad they linger in your mind and make you feel the exact feelings you felt at the very moment you are remembering. The things you bought or received as a present over the years make you who you are, the way people see you and the way you see yourself. You can fill your home with flowers or pets or paint everything blue and put loads of pictures on the walls. And even thought I don't put loads of photos in frames on walls, photographs are my true treasure.

I have this weird obsession with creating memories. I am that weird person who likes to take a random unexpected photo of a moment I want to remember for one reason or the other leaving everyone around questioning "what on earth is she doing", because that is probably not the right time/place for taking photos. What can I say, I love it. And it is those awkward unexpected photos that are full with emotions and never look "staged". Isn't it the main point of it all? On photos like that you are true, you are feeling something and you can tell by your smile/ facial expression if something made you extremely happy or sad. Take a look at your old photo album, see if you can find a photo of yourself that does not make you feel something.

I had a weird few years in life when I had too many things going through my head, where I was angry, not with someone or something, just felt this negativity building up in me and I hated everything around me. Right around that time I went and ruined all the photos that I had of myself,friends from school, my blond hair, my birthdays and new years - all gone. It felt right at the moment but I feel like I am struggling to picture myself now at the age of 15. I remember those years as a blur and not that I am trying to feel nostalgic, I just struggle to talk about those years without the photos. 

When I am showing my old photos to someone I can show them all the baby pictures and how happy the parents looked, how we all looked like a proper family and it felt natural. Then it is all a blur. 

When I started this post I thought I felt sorry for ruining all those teenage year memories but if you want the truth, I am glad I did. I am happy I got rid of the anger and the hate, left behind everything that hurt me and I have not a single thing to remind me about it. Now that I have started life all over I am taking my steps very carefully. Maybe  I should have kept a couple of photos just because, but it is something that is gone now and I am only looking into the future.

I am quite old fashioned on regards to photos. Phone screen savers and digital photos are all fine and dandy but I love the feel that photo albums give you. I currently have 4 albums and they all serve as very specific photo topics. One of them is our Costa Rica trip memories collection - the album itself was bought on the trip and has the best moments of our family vacation and a few notes to remind me of places and locations. I can see myself opening that album years and years later, looking at the photos, reading the location names and re-living that adventure over and over again. The second and third albums are our "couple adventures" albums. We do not travel as much as we could due to both having a very busy work schedule but we try to have a little getaway break every so often and I am trying to catch some memories in snaps and put at least 4 photos in the album with a title. "Latvia 2015", "Amsterdam 2016", "Rome 2017". The list is still long with destinations for just the two of us and the photos make me feel as excited as I was on this trip with my partner. The fourth photo album serves as a general photo album, collection of some beautiful photos of simple, every day moments that do not seem important in our every day life but they are precious and we will only see it with years to come. 

"Why are you taking a photo of that?!" - "You will thank me when you are eighty. When your memory is not as sharp and you can't travel as much anymore, when you will be telling stories to your grandchildren about how you used to look and what you used to do and places you have been, you will pick up one of my albums, open them on the very first page and it will take you back in time, so you can show them how beautiful your life is."